guardian

Jan. 13th, 2014 09:12 pm
radgamerlatula: (suzaeuphy)
[personal profile] radgamerlatula
 summary; a knight shouldn’t blame himself so much.

series; code geass: lelouch of the rebellion
pairing; suzakueuphemia
disclaimer; do not own
notes; companion piece to angel, of sorts

 

You think it’s kind of funny, how after your death you and He switched roles. The Knight no longer protected the Princess, but instead she was his guardian angel. You wish he knew, he would laugh about the irony in that.

Well, you hope he would.

You do everything you can to protect him. The wings you’ve obtained have been quite helpful, and you feel happy knowing you are constantly with him. He deserves it, you think, more than anybody else you know.

You visit him in his dreams, almost every night. It’s selfish, you know, but it’s the only thing you feel makes him happy anymore. You relive meeting him over and over again, that it almost becomes fake to you. So you switch to things that never happened but should have - marriage, kids, forever. Those things.

You get angry with yourself, sometimes. You know at this point that it was not your fault, what happened. That Lelouch - you poor, dear half brother - did not mean to do what he did. Sometimes you think that you should’ve fought it harder. That you shouldn’t have let what happened, happen. Sometimes you are angry with Lelouch. How could he do that to you, even accidentally?

But mostly, you just feel sad. You wanted to live your life forever with Suzaku. You wanted to hold him and kiss him and love him until the day you died.

You suppose you got your wish, just not quite how you expected.

So instead, you hold his hand all day, and you think maybe, sometimes, he notices. You guide him through battles, refusing to let him get hurt. You like to think, when his eyes close and he thinks to himself for a moment, he is thinking of you.

And when he becomes Zero, emperor of the world, you hold him while he cries at night, and pretend maybe he can feel your warmth.

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