radgamerlatula: (yakari)
[personal profile] radgamerlatula
 summary; If this is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

series; digimon
pairing; yamatohikari. takeruhikari a little bit. kind of. sort of.
disclaimer; do not own.
notes; i’m truly sorry for the sheer amount of digimon fanfiction i keep producing as of late. really. truly. sorry.

 

..

It all started when you went to his concert with your boyfriend. This wasn’t the first time seeing him live, but that didn’t stop you from being excited. You’re one of those girls that adore live music performances; you’ll be the first to admit. As the Child of Light, you can feel when people are releasing emotions, and you can feel when other people are shining like you do. Live music tends to bring out people’s inner light, you see.

Anyway, you were with your boyfriend of seven months and he was just as excited as you were. His older brother was a fantastic musician, as you both knew, and he was one of those people who commanded attention on stage. You were expecting to have a really great night.

What you did not expect was that after the concert, when everybody was drunk beyond belief, you would be making out with said musician. You were too drunk to realize that you had a boyfriend and it was quite clearly not Yamato Ishida, but instead his younger brother Takeru, but the damage was already done.

..

As soon as you awoke in the morning you could still taste him on your lips. You could only remember smidgens of what had happened, but knowing that you had willingly cheated on your boyfriend — with his brother, no less! — made that hangover puking come that much more quickly.

Miyako, who had slept over as she didn’t want her parents to see her drunk as hell, came to the bathroom and held your hair for you. You loved her, you really did.

"I saw you macking on Yamato last night. I, for one, am super jealous." You take that back. You no longer love Miyako like the sister you never had. You frown at her from your position of kneeling over the toilet.

"I can’t believe I did that to Takeru!" you cry, distress evident. After a few minutes of dry heaving, you move to brush your teeth. Nodding a thank you to Miyako, she moves to sit on the side of the tub.

"I can’t believe you did, either, to be honest," Miyako snorts. "I always thought you and Takeru had, I don’t know. A future?"

Even though you just brushed your teeth, hearing what she has to say makes you want to run over and puke your guts out again. She’s right; you ruined everything in a drunken stupor with his older brother. But of course, this is Miyako, and she doesn’t stop there.

"At least he’s attractive! I mean, yeah, they’re brothers but nobody cares about that part,” she says, and you don’t know how she hasn’t noticed your very obvious shut-up vibe.

..

You feel terrible. It’s been two days since the concert and you should be apologizing profusely to Takeru, hoping he understands.

Instead, you’re in class daydreaming about how Yamato’s lips felt on yours, and what he did with his hands in your hair. You’re a terrible person. You’re a worse girlfriend. You disgust yourself.

And yet, your thoughts always lead back to the feeling of being pressed against Yamato, that night when you had liquid courage.

..

You have been blowing off Takeru for five days now because of guilt. You know that if you see him you’ll tell him exactly what happened the dreaded night of Yamato’s concert. Somehow, miraculously, he hasn’t found out yet. And yes, you are a terrible girlfriend as to not tell him. But it was once, you were drunk, and it’s so much better if you just forget about it.

Right?

You wish you could say forgetting was going well, but every time you closed your eyes you could feel him on you again. You could feel the pressure on your lips, his hands in your hair, and your hands in his. You hate yourself.

You’re sitting in the corner, trying to make sense of your psychology text book, when he walks in. You’d have rather had it be your boyfriend then him.

You attempt to hide behind your giant text book, but of course he sees you. He gives you an easy grin and a wave. Does he not remember? “Hey, Hikari, how are you? I haven’t seen you since the concert.”

You put your book down and give him the best smile you can. “I’m doing,” you pause, struggling with the lie, “alright. How are you?” Your voice sounds strained, even to you, and you wince at the fact that it squeaked when you said ‘you’.

He, too, winces, and sits down next to you. “So I guess that means you remember what happened at the concert.” You nod, blushing, feeling down right terrible. Remember? You hadn’t been able to forget.

You were about to apologize when you feel his lips on yours again.

..

"And he kissed me! Again! How could he! He knows I’m dating his younger brother, I thought he was better then that!" You’re ranting to Miyako in her dorm room, safe away from Takeru, Taichi, and most of all, Yamato.

You look enraged and guilty. Miyako, on the other hand, looks incredibly amused. “And yet, you didn’t push him away. Are you sure you’re this upset, Kari?”

Sometimes, Miyako is a great best friend. Sometimes you really love the fact that there’s finally a girl, your own age that you can connect with. That there’s a girl that understands not only the pressures of being a Chosen Child, but isn’t three years older then you.

Other times, like right now, you really hate Miyako.

..

You feel awful. You’ve been avoiding Takeru for two weeks now, and he knows it. He’s been calling you and trying to find you but you keep telling Miyako to tell him you’re busy, or other lame excuses. You feel absolutely disgusting. Especially because the two kisses you’ve shared with a certain Yamato Ishida are the only two things that you’ve been dreaming about as of late. That’s probably the worst of it all.

You’re a terrible person. You’re dating such a nice guy, and you start falling for his brother. His older, very attractive, brother. Who happens to be your older brother’s best friend.

Yeah, your life is kind of a mess right now.

You’re lost in thought when you feel your phone vibrating on your desk. With a sigh, you flip it open to answer, not bothering to check who it is. That was your first bad move.

"Miyako? Is that you?" you ask, praying that it is. You cursed silently at the fact that you didn’t look to see who it was.

You hear a familiar sounding chuckle, and you feel your heart drop. “Nope, you’re out of luck. It’s Yamato,” he replies, and you think your heart just reached the floor.

"Oh," you gulp, "hey there, Yamato. What did you need?" You hate how fragile you sound compared to him.

"I was wondering what you were doing right now," he says, as if it’s the most casual thing in the world. You take a deep breath before telling him that you hadn’t really had anything planned. You can practically hear his grin through the phone. "How about you come out for dinner with me?" Agreeing to have him pick you up in an hour was your second bad move.

..

Immediately after hanging up with Yamato, you called Miyako and told her to come over as fast as she possibly could. Being the great friend that she is, she was over in less time then it took you to get dressed.

Looking you up and down, she asked, “What are you getting dressed up? Are you finally going on a date with Takeru again? Or maybe it’s the older one,” she trailed off, her voice sly. Her words made you feel awful, but you couldn’t help the butterflies that fluttered in your gut.

"I’m going out with Yamato tonight, just as friends," you told her, voice shaking, "I think."

She laughed at this and began to look for a good color for your nails. “You better break it off with Takeru soon, Kari,” she told you knowingly. “I might want a peace of that when he’s looking for a rebound!”

You put your head in your hands as you thought about your loving boyfriend, who you haven’t seen in two weeks. “God, how am I going to do this, Miyako? We’ve been friends since we were little kids. I can’t just ditch him for his older brother like that,” you sighed, looking at her as if she would have all the answers. You desperately wished she would.

"You want my advice?" she asked, and you stared like she was a goddess. Miyako, though, laughed in a way that reminded you of your brother. "Go have a good time with Yamato, he’s so damn hot!"

..

The two of you had decided on a dinner-esque place, and you found yourself having a fantastic time with him. You found yourself able to forget about Takeru, and Taichi, and about the fact that you were still kind of in a relationship right now. For a little while, anyway.

"Hikari," he began, sounding more serious then he had all night, "I have a confession to make."

It was then you remembered all of your previous worries and troubles, but you decided it wouldn’t be right to cut him off when he was obviously going to tell you something very important. “What is it?” you asked, wanting him to feel okay talking to you. You really did like the fact that he could talk to you about things. It made you feel special.

"I really like you," he began, and your heart skipped a beat. "I want to date you."

You froze at his words. You’d been unknowingly waiting two weeks to hear them, but now that he’s said them you felt your whole world crashing down. You shook your head sadly. “Yamato, it would be wrong to do this,” you told him, trying to keep the sadness out of your voice. God, did you want to do this. You loved how he kissed and how he felt in your arms. But you couldn’t do that to Takeru.

"Well," Yamato responded, grinning at you, "then I don’t want to be right."

And with that, he kissed you for a third time.

..

You had to do it. You knew you did. You had told Yamato that you were still kind of dating his younger brother, and if he didn’t mind waiting a few days for you to break up with him, then you would date him. He said that he understood, and while he hated hurting his brother like this, he knew that you weren’t happy with him. So now, here you are, staring at Takeru’s number on your phone, too afraid to press Call.

You heard a knock on your door, followed by a, “Hikari? We need to talk.”

Guess you didn’t have to call him anyway.

Begrudgingly, you told him to hang on one moment, and you walked to the door, prepared to end a seven month relationship.

..

"I know about what happened at the concert, Hikari," was how he started out the conversation. Not exactly a great conversation started, but you knew it had to be talked about. You figured a good way to start was an apology, and that’s what you did.

He smiled reassuringly at you. “Oh, I know. You don’t have to apologize. These things happen.” He was taking this surprisingly well. Maybe he didn’t realize that you were going to break up with him.

After a few moments of silence, Takeru spoke up again. “I also know about how Yamato feels about you.” You looked at him, surprised.

"How did you know? When did you find out?"

He sighed. “I’ve known about my brother’s feelings for you since he has, probably. So I guess a few months?” he scratched the back of his head, unsure. “I actually came here, to,” he paused and released another sigh. “Hikari, I think we should break up,” he told you simply.

"We," your eyes widened, "we should?" He nodded.

"Neither of us are very happy. I think we worked better as friends, to be honest with you."

..

Three days after breaking up with Takeru, you were making out with Yamato in his dorm room without a care in the world. And damn did it feel good.

..

notes; wow what the fuck even happened with this i don’t even know i might rewrite it at some point but yeah okay what even

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